I’m listening. I’m watching. And I’m doing my best to hear the pain and suffering of those that are all around me.
I hear that people of color are tired of systemic oppression. They want equal rights and equal access. They want forward movement. Livelihood. To be treated with dignity and EQUALITY.
I hear women, crying out for people, particularly men, to listen. They want to be compensated for the home work they do and they want equal pay when they do work within industry. Many women do both. 2 full time jobs. One with no pay. One that is underpaid. They want partners and friendships, not liege lords. They want lovers that they chose, who respect their boundaries. And now, in light of the recent Supreme Court ruling, bodily autonomy - they want the ability to decide what they get to do with their own bodies. Women now have less rights than a corpse and a cluster of developing cells. Women don’t want to live in fear that they will be murdered by an angry spouse for having a different perspective. They don’t want to die because of an unviable pregnancy. They don’t want to raise children without a partner willing to support the children that they so enthusiastically helped to make. They don’t want to bear a child from sexual assault or incest. They want to be able to decide whether they want a baby at all (no matter what the reason is), because it’s their body. They want to be respected and validated for their intellect, will, and strength and not seen as sexual objects for men’s pleasure. They want to experience sexual pleasure for its own sake, instead of being seen simply as breeders. They want to go any day without their existence being associated with the act of sex, because most women will tell you they can’t go a day without the correlation. Women want to be seen as human beings. They want EQUALITY.
I hear children crying out for safety in their places of learning. To go to school without the real and present danger of being murdered in a mass shooting. They want time to play and discover, without being monitored, measured, and pressured to constantly produce results.
I hear the poor and struggling crying out for better wages to be able to afford a basic standard of living. To have time to do anything outside of work in a thankless world that knows the cost of everything but the value of nothing.
I hear the sick and terminal saying they need access to affordable healthcare and support for their families. For medications to be accessible, for treatments and therapies to be available, for insurance to actually pay forward when it is needed. People need access to healthcare without the fear of entering into bankruptcy or financial ruin because they got sick and needed help.
And yes, I hear men saying they are tired of working endlessly and it not being enough to be all the other things they want to be in the lives of the people they love. I hear men saying they don’t want to die in some feckless politician’s war that only yields widows and orphans.
The overarching theme comes down to human dignity. Treating people with bodily autonomy. Respect. Equality.
Creating places, spaces, and opportunities for people to thrive.
We do that together. Inclusion means including everyone. Authentically respecting everyone around us no matter their race, gender identification, sexual orientation, religious belief or lack thereof.
Our rights end where other people’s begin. It’s a balancing act of working to understand a world filled with variety. The acts of kindness, civility, empathy do not cost us anything. But refusing to show these acts to everyone, will cost us everything.
If you feel anger at people who are standing up to oppression, ask yourself if you lack any of the things listed above.
If you don’t and you’re still angry for people speaking out, you need to do more work to understand the world around you. I know I am actively doing that work and every trip around the sun, I’m made aware of just how much is broken in the world.
Men bear a significant amount of responsibility in helping to ease suffering in the world because we hold the highest paying jobs, we have bodily autonomy, we are recognized for our thoughts - and ultimately are reliant on everyone else to make the systems we have work.
We need to build better systems that share power and profit. We need to practice listening very carefully to everyone, not just other men in the room.
We need to help create the spaces, places, and opportunities, since right now, we hold a most of them.
Everything is on the table right now. We are destroying hard fought progress in the name of religion and very specific ideals.
We are tolerating hate. And our empire is near its end. If you are a man, ask yourself what you ultimately stand for?
The endless consuming fires of capitalism, nationalism, and the inevitable rise of fascism? Or peace, justice and multiple ways for all Americans to actually live with equality?
Progress and change will happen with or without men’s agreement.
I’d like to be apart of good, positive change that includes everybody.
I’m starting with listening, acknowledgment, and then working to support where I can.